My Thoughts On Today

I had today off work and was able to spend it with Kam. It started at 7:20 when I wake up to Kam YELLING at the top of his lungs "Mom!!! I need you to come wipe me!....MOM! Wipe my butt!" I have no problem wiping my son's butt, but 1st thing in the morning. Really?! I haven't even had my coffee yet. As soon as I get in there to help him out he looks at me and says "we need to get ready to go to the zoo." My response, "Well Kam, we will get ready but we aren't going to the zoo for about 4 more hours."

Fast forward to noon. We are at the zoo with my friend LaChelle and her little boy Trindon. It is raining. For those of you who haven't ever pushed a stroller while holding an umbrella it is not an easy task. LaChelle and I were trying to figure out ways to stick our umbrellas down our shirts. Didn't work. The kids had so much fun though. Kam said his favorite part was the deer. Lachelle was extremely freaked out by the peacock. I tried teaching Kam the Katy Perry song but then decided it was somewhat inappropriate. Trindon was so excited about feeding the ducks he just sat right down in front of them on the soaking wet ground. Overall good trip. Pictures will be posted soon.

Snuggled up with Kam and took our Sunday afternoon nap when we got home. We did a lot of playing outside this afternoon. I made an extremely large amount of spaghetti for dinner and way too much garlic bread. It was also very yummy so I am OK with the amount of carbs I have sitting in my fridge waiting to be eaten as leftovers tomorrow. When I was cleaning out my fridge I found some hard boiled eggs from Easter. Made me wonder if they are still good to eat. As of right now I am still unsure so they are still in there taking up space.

Kam took a huge bubble bath and sang to himself the whole time. His song went something like this..."sitting on a fence post.....chewing on some....bubble gum....watching the....tractor in the field....oh oh oh..." When I asked him about it he claimed it was just him talking to himself. When I got him out of the tub and was getting him ready for bed, he pointed to his toy mailbox and informs me that he checks his mailbox everyday and there is never any mail in there. This comment made my heart break a little because we have had this mail box since he was around 18 months old. So for who knows how long he has been checking his mailbox only to be let down every time.

Sorry to cut you short, but I need to go write a love letter to Kam and stick it in the mail in hopes that it will reach him tomorrow.   :)

What's In a Name

So tonight I was able to come up to Malad and spend some time with my dad's family. My whole family including all my extended family, which doesn't happen all but once a year. Unfortunately the circumstances were not the best. We were all gathered for my aunt Sandy's viewing. While it is very hard and sad to see a family member go, it was also very bittersweet. We sat around for hours tonight telling stories, sharing memories, and talking about the "good ol' days". Most of the tears were happy tears from laughing when hearing the stories that were told.

After listening to the stories and memories I couldn't help but think to myself  how I am so damn proud to have my name and be a part of this family. I realized tonight that I come from a special group of women and I had no clue how many of their traits I have.

When I was born my babysitter told my mom "she was handpicked by Merle". My Grandma Merle is my dad's mother that I never had the chance to meet. Some of the stories that I have heard make her out to be quite the woman. I love hearing my dad talk about her.

The summer of 2002 I did horse 4-H and the instructor told me that she couldn't believe how much I resembled my aunt Les on my horse. She said that I rode exactly like her. Les was always so friendly and always wanted to know how everyone was doing and cared about others well being so much. One memory I have of her is when I was 3 and had my surgery I remember her and my cousins coming to the hospital to see me and bringing me a toy to help cheer me up.

My aunt Sandy was always the life of the party. Such a social butterfly. Sound familiar?...thought so. :) Her home was always open to family and friends. Her motto was the more the merrier. I know that heaven just got a lot more lively with her up there running around making sure that everyone is having a good time.

Wendy is my dad's youngest sibling, and the one I think I have the most in common with. We are both very head strong and know what we want. She told me a story tonight about her and my dad. They got into a fight and he tried telling her what she should do. Her reply was I hope you are blessed with a daughter just like me to give you hell. Well here I am and havoc I have reeked.

I found it so amusing that Kam and I had a conversation that goes as follows on our way to Malad.

Me "OK Kam we have to hurry so fast when we get home to get our stuff ready to go to Malad."
Kam "Well I have a question really fast."
Me "Yes baby what is it?"
Kam "Is your name Mattie John?"
Me "Yes."
Kam "Why isn't it Mattie Mecham?" (That is his Dad's last name.)
Me "Well I didn't marry daddy so I still have my name. When I do get married I will get a different last name though. I like my name though so I don't mind."
Kam "Well I could marry you huh? But mom I want to marry Corona." (Corona is Tyson's pit bull.)
Me "Oh my heck Kam. Where did you come from?!?"
Kam "I thought I came from you!"

It is true Kam, you did come from me, and I came from a great family. I see so much of my dad's personality in Kam. The strong, stubborn, fun loving, proud, feisty, get it done attitude, and so much more. Watching Kam do little things like stick his tongue out when hes concentrating on something I can't help but think this is what Grandma Merle watched years ago.

I am so PROUD to be a John and be the woman I am.

What do ya know...another list. :)

I saw this on one of my friends friends' blogs. Loved it. Smiled when I read it. Thought about a lot while reading. You get the idea. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's okay to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistant is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up your future.
12. It's okay to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save if for a special occasion.

Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words "In five years, will this matter?"
27.Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39.If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone elses, we'd grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Yield.
44. Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Facebook: A place where good habits go to die.

I made the decision to delete my facebook account the other day. I spent way too much time on there and got very tired of listening to everyone obsessively complaining about their life and the weather. I figured what is the big deal. I have a blog, an e-mail address, and that thing called a phone. Now I know that the ol' phone call is out dated, I almost forgot how to use the phone for its intended purposes because of the damn facebook app that I was severely addicted to. Really though time for a reality check.

Today marks 3 days no facebook. It has been weird not knowing what everyone is doing, eating, how their bowel movements are, where they are, and how pissed they are that it is windy outside. BUT, I have noticed how much more productive I am and when I went out with some friends last night I was able to have a conversation without annoying interruptions from my phone alerting me that someone sent me a farmville request.

Kam has my full attention now all the time. The main thing that made me consider deleting it was when I took Kam to play at the playground and realized I wasn't even playing I was talking to people on facebook! I was so mad at myself. that night I made my last post, gave my e-mail address and blog link to a few people and hit deactivate. It hurt so good! I can't wait to see what I can get done now!

sh*t my son says

Justin Halpern wrote a book about conversations with his father titled 'Shit my dad says'. It is absolutely, positively hilarious. It causes laughing until your cheeks hurt and you are crying. In other words it is a great read.

Justin inspired me to do this post. Kam says some of the most interesting things. Not a day goes by that I don't find myself staring at the ceiling trying to remain calm and not start hysterically laughing. I have started to write some of his comments, questions and our conversations down so I can refer to them when I need a good laugh. Here are some of my favorites....

• "Lets go buy a John Deere today."
• "Well we could just have brownies for dinner tonight"
• Me: "Kam what is the most important thing I have taught you?" Kam: " "The most important ting you have done to me is make me eat all my pancakes and to always tell you what I am doing in my bedroom."
• Kam: "Is it my birthday today?" Me: "No. Not for 9 months." Kam: "I could get a present today too though huh?! That sounds like fun."
• "We need to get the mail today. There might be some new coupons in there"
• Kam: "So there is a baby in your belly?" Jess: "Yup! Then when the baby gets big he will pop right out of my belly button!" Kam: (Pointing to her boobs) "So is there some babies in there too?"
• "My noodoos are neat. My bowl is neat. Everything is actually pretty neat Mom."
• Kam: "Are you sick?" Me: (Just finishing a 2 minute coughing session) "Yeah I am sick. I actually feel like crap." Kam: "Yeah I feel like manure."

mommyhood

Seeing as how it is  Mother's Day today and my blog is titled 'Mommy and Kam' I find it fitting to do a post about my experiences as a mother so far. Where to even begin? I guess I will tell the events that took place on Mother's Day 2011.

It started at 6:00 in the morning. Kam comes into my room in his underwear and socks holding 3 blankets and his Buzz Lightyear doll and says to me "Mommy I think I had an accident." OK let me back up a little bit. Let's go back to 10:45 the night before. Kam and I get home. He had been with Grandpa all day and I had been at work. We were both so exhausted by the time we got home, actually Kam had passed out 15 miles before even getting there. I grabbed my keys and my phone and heaved Kam into our house. Kam was so comatose that I couldn't even get him to sit up to take his sweatshirt off. I left his socks and underwear on and called it good. I went into my room layed down on my bed in my work clothes, shoes on, and contacts in. That was the end of it. I was so exhausted I left lights on and the front door unlocked. Next thing I know it is 6:07 in the morning and I am presented with a mess.

Happy Mother's Day I thought to myself. I get Kam cleaned up and in my bed and explained to him that it is still early and we need to go back to sleep. I was lucky enough that for once in the history of Kam's life he slept until 9:52. We woke up to my dad calling me and couldn't believe what time it was. Talk about a great Mother's day present...SLEEP! Can this day get any better... Yes. Yes it can. I did the usual glamorous things involved in being a mom, 3 loads of laundry, scrubbed the bath tub, did the dishes, vacuumed the house, went to the store, etc. Somewhere in the mix of the day Kam presented me with the 2nd part of his great gift. He wiped his own bum when he pooped. By this point I am thinking "How did I get so lucky? Kam let me sleep and wiped his own butt. Amazing. Just amazing. Can it be Mother's Day everyday?..."  I am still on cloud 9. So that was my experience as a single mom on Mother's day 2011.

I knew that Kam would give me hell within the first 30 minutes of having him home. He decided to pee in the middle of his first diaper change. It was everywhere. His little face, his 'coming home outfit', my clothes, and the wall. He just looked at me and had a funny face. I knew I was in for it with this little dude. This is what I have learned so far from mommyhood.

• As a mother you have to make a lot of sacrifices. Good sacrifices though. Sacrifices to ensure your child is happy and well taken care of. Just the other day I found myself holding my hand out the window with a half melted candy trying to get the cold air to make it edible. By the end of it my hand was ice, the candy was not so "melty", and Kam was happy as ever chowing down in the back seat. Every sacrifice big and small is worth it though.
• Sleep is for the weak. I usually get to bed after midnight and I am up between 7 and 8. Unless it is Mother's day I am up at 6:00. My coffee pot is always armed and ready when I go to bed at night so I can flip the on switch in the morning.
• Messes happen. Deal with it. I have found many interesting things waiting for me thanks to Kam's curiosity. One morning my whole entire spice drawer was filled to the brim with every spice, seasoning, bottle of vanilla extract and taco seasoning packet I had in the house. Kam didn't really have an explanation for that one. I didn't give him time to give me one he was sent to his room so fast.
• Kids are like sponges. Monkey see monkey do. When Kam was 2 I hear him in the kitchen playing. Next thing I hear is his sweet tiny little voice saying "damnit". I wanted to cry. I also wanted to kick my own butt for letting his ears hear that word.
• Boys will be boys. I will never forget the first time I witnessed Kam peeing outside. Pants down, facing a tree, and his little tiny butt cheeks getting some sun. When I asked him about it his response was that Daddy and Grandpa do it too.
• When they are sick, you are sick and your life shuts down for a few days. It will be back up and running just fine. Try to stay sane for this time frame.
• When Kam was born, I was born. The mother was born. Together, step by step we are learning.
• I would not change a thing. Kam is my life. I don't know what I would do or who I would be without him.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mums out there. Especially mine! Without her, I wouldn't be the mom I am today!

Castle In The Sky

Recently Kameron's great grandma Ricker passed. (This was his dad's grandmother) Before going to the funeral I didn't really tell Kam too much about why he was going. Death for me is a touchy subject and seeing as how it was a loss on his dad's side of the family I wanted them to tell him about it. When my grandmother passed Kam was only 16 months old so I didn't need to worry about the explanation of why she was "sleeping" or why everyone was so sad.

When Kam came back from his visit to Idaho Falls for the services, I really didn't know what to expect. I didn't know how they explained it to him or what terms they used so a 3 year old could comprehend. Little did I know I had nothing to worry about.

On the way home Kam said to me "Mommy can you hold my hand please?" I reached into the backseat while driving and grabbed onto his tiny little hand. The way he squeezed a little tighter than normal I knew he needed some mommy time. So I began to ask him questions about the trip. I didn't say a word about Grandma Ricker, I just kept it simple asking the basic "what did you do? did you have fun?" type of questions. Instantly Kam started jabbering about Grandma Ricker and her 'castle'. After a few minutes of him explaining what he learned this is what I gathered.

Grandma Ricker got very sick and fell asleep. She is sleeping good now and can't play anymore. There was a lot of people there when she went into the ground, BUT she is in a castle now.

The castle comments really sparked my interest. I started asking questions about it and he replied with a sweet "Well mommy she is just in a big big big castle so she be OK." Simple as that. I was floored and also very teary eyed. It gets better. Kam then says "Grandpa Mark (my dad) won't go to a castle though. He won't get sick. If he does I will just be missing him a lot so he won't. You won't get sick will you mommy?" By now I am a mess. Tears are falling and nose is running. I squeezed his hand very tight and told him "Grandpa Mark won't get sick anytime soon and I especially won't. I still have way too many things to do and see before that happens. I don't want you to ever worry about that Kam. Ever" "OK I won't. We better wash our hands a lot so we don't get sick."

Overall I couldn't believe at how well he did with understanding something so scary, confusing, and complex. I mean, even I cannot talk about it. Maybe I should just start putting things into his perspective. I guess after all it is just a little trip to a castle in the sky.