Tuesday, August 2, 2011

"I love you from your toes to your face."

Today is the first day in over a week that I have been alone without Kam. He is with his dad having a ball and I am wandering around like a lost puppy dog. I had big plans for my mommy time, so far I have worked and thought about all my mommy time plans. I was going to spend some quality time with a book and in the hot tub, take extra long showers and listen to anything but Jason Aldean 'Big Green Tractor'. Needless to say I haven't done much but think about how quiet it is without him and count down the minutes until he comes back. Goodness I sound selfish. I am not. His daddy and him are probably loving every minute of it, which makes me feel good, however, I am still feeling like a lost puppy. 

When I was driving to work today I thought a lot about Kam. Nothing new there, but today I thought more about how amazing someone who is 3 feet tall can be. He has done so much for me and he has no idea. Kam has always been there for me and I know that our bond is strong enough that he will always be there for me and I will always be there for him. No matter what. He is the definition of love. My definition of love. That is what matters most. Everyday he reminds me to get up and be somebody. I am a lot of people. I am a daughter, sister, friend, aunt, boss, but the best someone I can be is his mommy. 

Kam sets such a strong example for me in so many ways. He reminds me to show emotion and let people know how I feel. I may not do this in the same way he sometimes does. (Screaming in Wal-Mart isn't really my cup of tea and hopefully it won't be his for much longer.) 

He teaches me that if I am happy say I am happy. If I am sad, exhausted or just upset, it is OK to cry. 

Saying I love you to someone is one of the most important things he reminds me to do. The way I feel when he tells me he loves me, makes me want to tell everyone close to me I love them, just so they can feel the warm feeling it offers. 

He teaches me to be artistic. Every color is a good one and everything should have lots of color. 

He shows me how to take responsibility for my actions. If I made the mess, clean it up. He cleans up his messes, so should I. 

Wake up in the morning and eat a giant bowl of sunshine for breakfast. I have never in my life known anyone to be as happy to be awake before dawn as he is. 

Be a friend. Be nice. Give big squeezes and wet kisses. 

Be a kid. 

I love you Kameron Christopher John. 

Don't change a thing about you. You are perfect the way you are. I grew you that way.