5 years. It has been 5 years since Kam came into this world and blessed us with his grace and happy personality. I will never forget the day he was born. He was just as stubborn then as he is now. It was one of the worst snow storms of the year. Family and friends that were traveling to the hospital to greet him drove through a blizzard that covered all of east Idaho. I was induced on the 20th of December at 7:00 in the morning. 20 hours later at 2:52 AM he finally decided to give in and join the party. The first cry was a sound that I will never forget. To say he was perfect is an understatement. He had all 10 fingers and toes, and was beautiful. His lips were a beautiful shade of red and he had the fairest skin. Round eyes and the softest cheeks. I was then, and still am, so smitten with this little boy. They say that when the child is born, so is the mother. That couldn't be more true.
When children grow up it is the most bittersweet process to be a part of. Each age and stage has so many great qualities as well as struggles. In the years that Kam has been around I have been blessed with a little boy who is wise beyond his years, defines the term 'unconditional love' and graces everyone in his presence with his sweet charm.
I remember the first night home with him. I was 19 years old and scared out of my mind. My mom stayed with us that night and what a help it was. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have eaten that night because I couldn't set him down to get anything done. I put him in the bassinet next to my bed and called it a night pretty early. At some point in the night he woke up with a hungry belly and I did what I think most new moms do, pulled him into my bed and nursed him to sleep. He never made another peep until morning. I remember waking up extremely stiff knowing that I didn't move an inch in the night as not to squish my baby. He was lying on his back swaddled up in a blanket and I was wrapped around him. The sun was coming in the window and his little tiny profile, I will never forget, was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. His tiny button nose was so adorable. That little nose was then, and still is, my favorite feature.
Tonight when we were talking about his birthday I mentioned to him that I didn't want him to grow up. "Why not mommy?" he said. "I just don't want you to get big." I replied staring off into the distance remembering that first morning and his tiny nose. "Well Mommy. You can still hold me tomorrow. I will only be 5." It was then, at that moment, I looked down and caught a glimpse of his profile and saw that cute little button nose. He couldn't be more correct. I can, and most certainly will, still hold him tomorrow. I mean after all, he will only be 5.
I love you Kameron Christopher John.
1 year ago