Recently Kameron's great grandma Ricker passed. (This was his dad's grandmother) Before going to the funeral I didn't really tell Kam too much about why he was going. Death for me is a touchy subject and seeing as how it was a loss on his dad's side of the family I wanted them to tell him about it. When my grandmother passed Kam was only 16 months old so I didn't need to worry about the explanation of why she was "sleeping" or why everyone was so sad.
When Kam came back from his visit to Idaho Falls for the services, I really didn't know what to expect. I didn't know how they explained it to him or what terms they used so a 3 year old could comprehend. Little did I know I had nothing to worry about.
On the way home Kam said to me "Mommy can you hold my hand please?" I reached into the backseat while driving and grabbed onto his tiny little hand. The way he squeezed a little tighter than normal I knew he needed some mommy time. So I began to ask him questions about the trip. I didn't say a word about Grandma Ricker, I just kept it simple asking the basic "what did you do? did you have fun?" type of questions. Instantly Kam started jabbering about Grandma Ricker and her 'castle'. After a few minutes of him explaining what he learned this is what I gathered.
Grandma Ricker got very sick and fell asleep. She is sleeping good now and can't play anymore. There was a lot of people there when she went into the ground, BUT she is in a castle now.
The castle comments really sparked my interest. I started asking questions about it and he replied with a sweet "Well mommy she is just in a big big big castle so she be OK." Simple as that. I was floored and also very teary eyed. It gets better. Kam then says "Grandpa Mark (my dad) won't go to a castle though. He won't get sick. If he does I will just be missing him a lot so he won't. You won't get sick will you mommy?" By now I am a mess. Tears are falling and nose is running. I squeezed his hand very tight and told him "Grandpa Mark won't get sick anytime soon and I especially won't. I still have way too many things to do and see before that happens. I don't want you to ever worry about that Kam. Ever" "OK I won't. We better wash our hands a lot so we don't get sick."
Overall I couldn't believe at how well he did with understanding something so scary, confusing, and complex. I mean, even I cannot talk about it. Maybe I should just start putting things into his perspective. I guess after all it is just a little trip to a castle in the sky.
1 year ago